A Letter to You

To you:

At 1:23am, when there is no one left to talk to since anyone with any normal life would be sleeping now, I am still awake, my thoughts plagued with sadness. I guess all I can really say is that I really do care about you. I wish things were different than the way they are now. And, I know there is nothing that I can do to change this, because I have no right to do so. I know that this really shouldn't affect me, bother me, the way it does, but I have always had the hardest time just watching as this world tears people apart. I really wish I could make things better for you, because this whole ordeal fills me with such a great sadness.

Maybe if I wasn't alone as I am now, things would be different. I asked her tonight, if she had stayed, would things be different now. I like to believe they would be, but then again I was in a different world, then. I suppose this has as much to do witth my longing for the few good things in my life, all of whom are too far from me now, as it does with my desire for you to be happy. But, I just can't explain the actions of other people. I can read people's actions and feelings, but that does not mean I can understand why they feel or act that way. I wish I could give you some sort of solace in all of this, but I can only offer it as a "learning experience", which I know is no solace whatsoever. I wish I could say this to you now, but I know that I can't. I wanted to write this anyway, because I needed to say something. I needed someone to know that I am sorry that this is happening.

Your friend,

Solus