And all those evenings swearing at the sky
Wishing for more time
All the promises we broke when we tried
Just wasting all our time

 - A.T.E.

One day I'll write an essay comparing the first two albums by that band, because they were quick well put together and clearly intended for contrast. One day.

 I have about three weeks left. And then everything just goes crazy. I leave the country, move in with my girlfriend, start my post-doc, etc. Just craziness. My parents are not too thrilled about me leaving the country and being away for a couple of years. Everyone just seems to be moving farther and farther away. The word "diaspora" keeps popping into my head. It's a very pretty, but sad word.

I packed up my room this past weekend, so now it's just filled with my mattress and a bunch of garbage. It'll be strange to leave. I know all the roads in this town. As I was packing, I found a box of notes from high school, which was very strange. It's incredible how everything seemed so important then, and now they just aren't. Ten year reunion would be next year, if I remember correctly.

You know nothing, Jon Snow.

Hopeless these three year
Like smoking gears

- ATE

I sometimes have trouble reconciling the place I'm in, and the person I am, and the person I feel I am.

I am here, and I'm a scientist. But, I still feel the 90's grunge kid inside of me wondering what I've become. Wondering who all of these people are around me. I still dress like a 90's grunge kid. I haven't changed that much in all of these years. Someone commented on my flannel tonight, and it made me realize that this style of dress doesn't mean what is used to mean. And, it made me wonder what it actually used to mean, anyway. I guess it always had something to do with being honest to others and yourself. I just don't see that anymore. There are few people with whom I'm honest, nowadays. It's a product of my own disillusionment with certain people. But, I still have complete honesty with a few people. I can name three in total. And, I know, regardless of what I tell them, whether in shady desparation, or in late night revelations, they will listen to me and not question me. They will call me out on my bullshit, but they will recognize the feelings I have. I guess, I mean to say that I have a few people who understand me.

I am grateful for that.

I wish I could get back one more person whom I miss terribly. I've realized that she will always have a place in my life.

The Perfect Space

I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.
I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.
I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
And I wanna grow old without the pain,
give my body back to the earth and not complain.
Will you understand …when I am to hold up a man?
And will you forget when we have paid our debt
who did we borrow from? Who did we borrow from?

Okay part two now clear the house.
The party’s over take the shouting and the people, get out.
I have some business and a promise that I have to hold to.
I do not care what you assume or what the people tell you.
Will you understand, when I am too old of a man?
Will you forget when we have paid our debt,
who did we borrow from, who did borrow from?

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the bible that turns you bad.
And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ll become and not the man that I was.

- Avett Brothers

My back aches. My foot hurts. I'm not as young as I used to be, and I can feel it in my bones. And, for a second today, I was scared of my own mortality. But, I remember that the gods envy mankind for our mortality. And it makes me feel better.

I want to have friends that love me for the man I've become, and not the man I was. Because, I'm very much a different person than 5 years ago. A little slower. A little more thoughtful. But, still willfully unthinking.

Jackson Browne does an excellent version of "A Thousand Kisses Deep".

I've accepted a position in Germany. Tom asked me if I was excited, but I've been too busy to be excited yet. I'm sure the reality will set in soon. But, honestly, I'm already planning the next major step in my life. So much is going to change in the next six months, it's hard to even imagine it.

Hate, Hate your enemies
Save, Save your friends
Find, Find your place
Speak, Speak the truth

Amare, Semper.

I miss her, and I'm surprised by how much.

She blocked everyone out. No password to unlock the secrets.

I don't remember her face. And, it doesn't bother me.

My mistake, we'll never speak again.

I wonder where she is now.

I should probably call her.

My dreams have been very, very intense the last few nights. And, I haven't been able to sleep much. But, last night, I was met by a half-man, half-cat god. And, I asked him, "When will it be ready?" He replied, "Before the time comes." And, half jokingly, I asked him, "When will I be ready?" He told me, "When you need to be."

And for some reason, that half-cat, half-man god creature told me exactly what I needed to know.

As I requested the lapse in your presence
I couldn't think of anything
Important to say

So, I wondered
When this day will end
I wonder...
If we'd speak again

Ya, I wonder.

- Pete Yorn

There have been so many things on my mind, lately.

First, I need to apologize to you. It's not often that I am so far in the wrong. So far out of line. And, there's nothing I can say that will justify how I've acted. There is nothing I can say that could set that right. And, really, I don't think there is any forgiveness for which I could hope. I burned that bridge to the ground. But, it doesn't mean I don't miss you terribly. I dream about you all the time. You came to my wedding. It was very good to see you again and to talk to you. You, of course, gave me a hard time, but that's kinda how it always was with us, anyway. So, I'm sorry for being a dick. I carry you with me everywhere I go. I miss you.

I had the realization a few days ago, just how far from my past I've become. Sean always said I was running from my problems with everything I did. I don't think that's exactly true. I "ran" from my problems by completely removing everything from my life, and starting over. Anyway, I was looking at the undergrads who swarm all over campus, and I realized just how far away from that I am now. I notice myself drifting further from that time. I don't wax nostalgic about these things, either. I'm just looking at all the things that used to be what I called "ordinary", and really, none of those things exist in my life anymore. The few things I was able to salvage from that period of my life... I find myself drifting away. I don't have the common ground anymore. I find myself thinking so far forward.

The paths I started going down 8 years ago are coming to fruition. But, when I started down these things, I didn't realize how much would change because of it. How much would be lost along the way. Not to say that I haven't gained anything important. I have found a very important person. But come this time next year, I won't even be living in this country. This path takes me further and further away from where it started. I'm becoming increasingly ruthless and clinical. That might just be the scientist in me, but I can feel my thought process is very different now than it was even a few years ago. Every move is purposeful and efficient.

It's been a long time since there's been a tangible goal. I had forgotten how focused I become when there is something that I really want. I am going to Germany. I have two seminars at MPI-Mainz, and CSI-Darmstadt. I will hopefully have two more established for my two weeks there. It's just strange to feel this graduate career coming to an end. I don't really feel anything. It feels like just another thing to put behind me. The hurdles I have to overcome. And, always, I feel like I am always moving forward. It worries me that I won't be able to stop. What happens when I become a professor? When this end goal is reached? Do I know how to stop? Do I know how to rest? Will I constantly lose people as I go along? Because this end goal is only a few years away. I had this discussion with my committee members. That I need to think through the next four years of my life now, and the things I need to do to get what I want. It's very strange, really.

My friend, Kate, says I'm very strange because I know exactly what I want, and really always have. She's says what's really strange about me is that, because of this, I don't really understand people who don't know what they want to do with their lives. I think part of that reason is that I know what I want to do. I think the other part is that I don't really believe there are any wrong choices. If you go work for a company for 2-3 years, and find you hate it there, you can always leave and find a new job, or new career path. But, regardless, you will have learned something. It's impossible to waste time. When you die, your life doesn't get graded on a scale of 1 to 10. You don't even get a finisher's medal. You're just dead. So, while you're living, if you decide on something that didn't work out, you can always change direction. Unless of course, you get a sex change, become an alcoholic, and prostitute yourself for drug money. That could be hard to come back from. But, then you could write this really kick-ass book about how you did all of those things, and be on Oprah's book list. Trust your instincts. Don't worry so much about the future. It'll get here one way or another. And, I know you will be amazing in anything you do.

Today (well, at this point, technically yesterday), was my two year anniversary. It's amazing how fast that time goes. I have no idea why she is even with me. She is seriously the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met. And I'm... not so much. A strawberry farmer's daughter. It's really kinda funny how that works out. I knew she was perfect for me when she thought Airplane! was one of the most hilarious movies she's ever seen. I can still remember the first night we met. It was at a department party. I pulled the "we have the same birthday" pick-up on her (and yes, we do have the same birthday). It's a risky attempt with a 0.27% chance of actually working. But, I pulled it off, and I'm very happy I did.

Anyway, it's late. I need to sleep. I hope you are well. I hope everything works out.

Love always,
joe

P.S. If you get a chance, listen to "Sail" by AWOLnation. It's surprisingly addictive.

How'd you get so far away
There's nothing more to say
You told me long ago to leave
fate to itself
But, I'm gonna need help
The coast is clearly not on my side now
If it ever was

- Rival Schools

Every now and then there is a day to remind you of everything that has happened and will happen still. I had a day like that today. I've been sick for the last few days with some nasty cold or another, and my dreams have been... well, intense. My dreams remind me of things that I have lost. Of the things that I was unable to change. And there are some things that will most likely haunt me forever, because I did not have the capability to change that fate. Some of that fate was my own choosing. Some of it was my mistakes. And, the rest were things that I could not have foreseen or controlled.

I have done everything I can to move on, and live a good life beyond the remainder of a shattered dream. And, I have had a great life since then. I was kinda in a nostalgic funk, lately, remembering all of the things I have lost. The comfort of friends I have lost. The 'friends' who can now grip my heart in terror. But, something great happened for me today. And, I am glad that I am where I am, despite all of that. My friend, Mai, said she had never seen me happy until she saw me before the Rival Schools show. I was like a little kid with free reign of a toy shop. And, I feel that way again today.

And it reminded me of all the things in my past that I am happy for as well. Even things that seemed so terrible at the time. Like, getting hit in the groin by an errant softball in the middle of a park, on what was supposed to be a relaxing evening in the sun. It was like God kicking you in the groin. That moment made me realize that I had a good friend with me. It reminded me that God has a good sense of humor, so I shouldn't let the world drag me down. I miss that feeling, but I am also never coming back. I've always wondered if it was possible to start again. When I finally broke things off with Gen, I knew that the only way we could possibly be amicable in the future was as complete strangers. Now, I am a complete stranger to nearly everyone I used to know. And, really, nearly everyone in general. Is it possible to start again?

I've got a JACS paper coming out soon. I've found the sweetest girlfriend in the entire world. She's the daughter of a strawberry farmer. I have walked through strawberry fields in the summer. I have traveled the world with her. I will hopefully get my doctorate in a little over a year. Life is going well.

I miss you all. I really, truly do. I have the greatest memories. I have the most terrible ghosts.

But, I'm not really sorry for any of it. And, I never will be. I'd apologize for that. But, you know I'd be lying. I will carry you with me. Like Aeneas carried his penates across the seas.

I will find a new home. The future is bright.

you say you mean well
you don't know what you mean
Fuckin' oughta stay the hell away
From things you know nothing about

- Elliott Smith

Pretentious with my glass of "not-so-fine" port. I wish I could be more oblique, but sometimes it's hard to be subtle in the face of such overwhelming... crap. Or perhaps, it is indeed the venom I feel coursing throughout my emotions so often. I'm not too sure. It's food for thought, I suppose.

But, really, does anyone really care?

you run and you run to catch up with the sun,
but it's sinking

I've been listening to Deer Tick a lot lately. It's interesting how certain songs can connect with you. I sometimes I hear a song, and I wonder, where were you years ago when I needed you? But, I also wonder if I'd appreciate them as much then as I do now, being so far removed from my own past.

The funny thing about the past is that's never really that far behind you. It's strange that sometimes, the things you think should haunt you just don't anymore. But, the things that you didn't realize were so important back then are the things that do haunt you. I see her in my dreams a lot, but she's not the person you'd think it'd be. I often wonder why I seem to have dreams that are so much more vivid than what other people have. I can remember tastes and smells. I can remember minute details from my dreams. I can remember how happy I am just to be with certain people. I can remember how much I hatred I still have for people. But, they're just dreams. They're not this reality, but I like to think of them as alternate lives. I can remember so much of the history of who I am in my dreams. Sometimes, I'm not even "me" at all. I'm someone else entirely different. It makes me think of what souls. It makes me wonder what the thoughts I am thinking are made of (ending in prepositions pisses me off, but I'll do it anyway). Do thoughts have substance? I mean, I understand that they must be the electricity of neurons firing. The hormones and synapses. But, that doesn't seem like substance to me.

I guess, since it's the day after my birthday, I'm feeling sentimental. I've been told I can still go back. There is a chance. But, I'm not really interested. I'm restless. I want more than what was. I want what will be. I've learned the danger of building a future on insubstantial promises and dreams. But, I also became complacent then. I settled.

I'm not going to settle. I know this life is temporary, but I'm glad I have it now. And, I am doing exactly what I said I would be doing. For that, I am very happy. And, for the other things that I have come into contact/possession. Things are not ideal. But, everything will be alright in the end.

Is it getting better?
Is it getting worse?
Was it ever worth it?
Was it just a curse?
Is it getting better now?

Yes. No. No. Yes. Yes.

I arrived to pick up S. at her aunt's house. It was early in the morning, and as customary, S. wasn't quite ready to leave as she was frantically searching for... something. Her aunt showed me around the house a bit, while I waited, since I had never been there before. The house was situated in a typical suburban neighborhood. Trees lined the streets. You can easily imagine young kids learning to ride their bicycles in these kind of places. The kitchen was small, but instilled the sense of home. A plain floral cloth adorned the table and a few dishes remained in the sink. She asked if I would like some coffee, but I declined citing time restraints.

I went to find S. She was a flurry of commotion. Her curly hair whipped behind her as if it were an afterthought. I often wondered how one person can evenly disperse all necessary items equidistant from where you'd like them to be, but she found a way. Despite the frantic nature of the scene, it was a quality of hers that was completely endearing. Scattered, but collected. Conflicted within the allowable limits in which all women find themselves. She tossed everything into her bag, and looked at me as if this was the first time she had seen me.

The smile can't be hidden from my face. I love her. Though, not in the way lovers do, but rather in the way of allies or partners, with respect and grace. So, without complication, I had no problem telling her she looked beautiful as always, my sincerity masked by a feigned flippant demeanor. And, as customary, she thanks me while gently brushing aside the comment. The goal at hand is far more important to her. She asked me if I was ready to go, and as I didn't bother to bring more than could fit into my pockets, I indeed was. Goodbyes and good lucks were exchanged with her aunt at the doorway, and we burst into a typically warm spring morning that Saturday.

We were to catch a bus not too far up the block, and she rushed us down the sidewalk, uneven from the numerous tree roots pushing from underneath. Despite this rushing, we arrived at the stop in time to see the bright yellow of the bus as it drove down the street. S.' panic wasted no time in appearing. Even though she was prone to unnecessary amounts of worrying that she called planning, she succumbed to panic far too quickly. I was often accused of the opposite. I let S. panic for a few seconds. She was painfully cute when she was flustered. Finally, I suggested we just walk to the school, since the weather was nice, and we had plenty of time. I didn't mention that her pension for worrying is exactly why we had so much extra time. I'm sure she would realize that on her own.

And so, we walked, and we talked. She asked me if I thought we'd ever have to take another standardized test after this one. I replied that I hope not, but I'm sure by the time we graduate, they'll have thought up an infinite number of standardized tests for everyone. She gave me a polite laugh, which I appreciated. And, throughout the conversation, I realized just how much I appreciated the time we spent with each other, taking each step together. We had a habit of balancing out each other's personalities, when we were not driving each other crazy. It took no time, but we arrived at the school. I wished her good luck as she walked toward her test room. I didn't look back to see her walk through the door. I knew I'd see her again, when it was over.

I can't seem to find
Any trace of you
Through the books and pills
I've been searching through

You don't seem to exist
Anywhere but my memory
Unclear and damaged
Through this looking glass

You are a non-entity
Just a margin in the wind
No great show to call upon
Worthless from the end

I never would have thought
I always used to believe
There was something more to you
Than winter falling leaves

I can no longer count
Just how many times I've been wrong
Thought you were special
So many times I've been wrong

You are a non-entity
No great show to call upon
Worthless, can't even name
Not too much I can say

I've been damaged and bruised
My future undisclosed
Though, certainly one for ambiguity
At least my name is known

How do you sleep at night?
You should not sleep in fear
There is nothing left of you
It's as if you were never here

- Solus

Odysseus Complex

I have been reading a book called "The Lost Books of the Odyssey" by Zachary Mason. I've been enjoying it immensely, and taking my time going through it, so I can savor and relish each little tale as its own. I often times reflect on the tale of Odysseus, and what it meant to be him. Throughout the Odyssey, Odysseus is attempting to return home to his loving wife and sweet home of Ithaca. And yet, despite this overall goal, there seems to be very little immediacy in trying to get there. Instead, he pillages and plunders as many villages as he can. He fights monsters and enrages gods. And, he travels from island to island.

I almost wonder if Odysseus really wanted to return home, or rather to the home he had so many years ago. His sight is always on the future. His travel is constant. He leaves behind his crew, dead to some monster/goddess or Neptune. I understand why he is so often portrayed as a man who can never stop wandering. In Dante's Inferno, Odysseus is in hell for having attempted to travel to the ends of the earth. The Ulysses of Tennyson is very similar in this effect. But, it is throughout the Odyssey that his one goal is to return home (or that's what he'd have you believe). I guess the inherent problem in discerning Odysseus' goal is his great capacity for deception. Beyond all doubt, there is one thing Odysseus will do no matter what the price: survive. He has no real loyal friends throughout his wanderings. Any close friends he may have had all perished before the Priam's walls. His crew are simply the subjects he is lord over. While I don't doubt that Odysseus felt some affection for his comrades in arms, I don't think he would have necessarily called them a friend, and meant it. If anything, his closest "friend" throughout his life is a goddess, whose affection for him is great and unnatural. But, from the moment he leaves Troy's shores until the moment he arrives on Ithaca, Athena is unusually absent.

I describe the Odysseus Complex as the need to keep looking at the future, without keeping any real attachment to the past, as a survival mechanism. While he is stranded upon an island, he laments his wife and home, his future, as it seems there is no possible way of achieve it. In such a way, he is trapped in a present that quickly becomes his past. And, when he finally achieves his "future", most tradition holds that he once again leaves Ithaca in search of new adventure. I don't think Odysseus is looking for freedom. I think he is trying to reach the future before the present.

Is this a natural state of mind? Is it a healthy state of mind? I'm not certain. I can see many of these qualities in my own life. Having lost my future once, I seem steadfast to hold onto some ambiguous future. I have nearly completely forsaken my past. I have left behind the place of my former residence, and I foresee myself continuing to travel for some time onward. I have left behind many former friends, in what I'm sure appears to be a most callous manner. This is probably because I neither regret nor lament those decisions. Nor do I have any desire to repair those bridges burned. But, I do remember them, my comrades in arms. The ones who pulled me through a battlefield. The ones who helped me survive. I look at the good they have done me in the past, and I wonder if I am a terrible man for what I've done. The cause of their loss was not ship wreck or terrible monster, but rather lies and forgiveness denied. At the time, I did what I needed to survive, but now that I am past survival, and doing well, am I a terrible person for neither trying nor desiring to make amends? Should I not leave the past behind me? Should I not seek new experiences and allies? Should I not sail for new islands?

I wonder what thoughts filled the head of that man while he stared out across the wine-purple sea.

Survivor’s Guilt

Again and again, the cirlces expound
To start anew spiralling down
Up and over, and overcome
To begin again, once it’s done

Please don’t let me be the only one
Please don’t let me be the only one

The sparks ignite within cold ground
Now, bleeding out without sole sound
The watchtower chimes a bell of glass
The end begins, finally, at last

Please don’t let me be the only one
Please don’t let me be the only one

And I’d give everything not to be the last
For death to come before you become the past
I’d bleed a thousand souls for a hundred suns
For you to remain, once all is said and done

And, I’m not the only one

- Solus

you were there, and it was good in the beginning

promise you will remember
that promises last forever

I had a dream last night, in which I was at a nice beach by a lake. It was beautiful and sunny, and I swam all day long. I was there with a bunch of strangers, but that didn't matter. I got along with them quite fine, and we laid out in the sun for hours. Eventually, the sun began to set, and the air cooled. We had to go inside. The building we were staying at was very large, and the halls were jagged. There didn't seem to be any overlying logic to the patterns of rooms and staircases. Walking around, the building was empty, though everything was clean and well-kept. As the night went on, we started to wonder where all the other people were, but we found no evidence of their presence. We tried to get back to the entrance we came into, but we had become lost. That's when we noticed that several of us were now missing. We walked into a parlor to find a monster that had taken human form. It chased us into a stair well, and I jumped down flights of stairs to escape. I managed to escape out of the stairwell, and lock the monster in behind me. I met up with several other people. And, I told them that we would be safe if we stayed out of the building, and kept to a small section of it. I told them that it would be okay. But, when I noticed some of the people wondering into another room, I told them to get out of there before it was too late. They asked why, and I told them there were monsters in that room, that it wasn't safe there. But, already the creature had come and taken the person. I quickly locked the door, but they started to come out from all different areas. Everyone ran, and I could hear the screams behind me. A few of the many that were left managed to get into another room, a room on the exterior of the building where we could escape. We ran through several rooms, but I decided to go back to see if there was anyone left behind. I told the remainders to wait there until I came back. I walked back to the locked door. There was a small knock on the door, and head popped underneath the door. It was a girl that was in our group. She told me to let her in. I asked her what happened to the others. She told me they were fine and to let her in. I walked up to her, and whispered into her ear a question: Is this a trap? She began to cry, and whispered yes. That's when she was yanked back into the other room, her scream still echoing in the hall. I wasn't sure what happened to the others. Only a few of us remained. I didn't know if we should go back to see if we could find more. I told them it would be safe, but I couldn't keep them together. The moon shone brilliant through the windows, casting shafts of light onto the persian carpet in the room. When I caught up to the others, they asked me what happened, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the light. I told them they were okay, but we had to keep moving. We'd find them later. They were strangers to me, but it was painful to keep moving on.

I'll See You in My Dreams

Though the days are long
Twilight sings a song
All the happiness that used to be

Soon my eyes will close
Soon, I'll find repose
And in my dreams
You're always near to me

I'll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you right out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms

Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams

Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my lonely way tonight
I'll see you in my dreams

- Gus Kahn

On my birthday, I hope I can dream of everyone that I can't be with anymore. I often see you there, and I hope of all nights, I'll see you there tonight. G'night.

I’m in a page on your desk
Here’s my name if you forget
I couldn’t stop to think of you
I let it drop with no excuse

I see your name and it makes me laugh
Looking forward and thinking back
To the Sunday afternoons
When the world was just me and you

The weeks roll by; they feel like years
But we don’t mind what we don’t hear
I signed my love, an autograph
It was good back then, but it didn’t last

The taste of wine upon my lips
In all this time, you’re all I miss
And, you know, I could use a friend
But silence is all there is in the end

- Solus

I found this poem in a random word document at the end of a paper I wrote. I don't remember it, but I thought it was pretty good and very appropriate for the times.

Nobody's Coming to Save You

Look around
Can you see the familiar tree
Where you carved your name
When you were young and free?

Look above
Can you see the same god smile
Down upon the hope you had
But lost after so many weary miles?

Look beneath
The stones you cast in spite
When you were hot and full of flame
Do you still feel you were right?

Look within
Are you everything you wanted to be?
Nobody's coming to save you
And nobody's coming to save me

- Solus

Dream #57

You called to me last night
A melancholy song through the phone
How did you know I’d still be home?

I told you I was still alone
But, that I was doing just fine
I don’t stay home anymore
On Saturday night

Still, I haven’t forgotten you
So, darling, do not fear
You’re on my mind this time of year

And, I can finally see it clear
What else was I supposed to do?
Even the best plans fall through

Oh, love, you sound so distressed
Now, please do not be upset
There is nothing that I regret
There is nothing that I forget

I told you it was good to hear your voice
One of the sweetest things in this life
Oh, everything will be all right
Everything will be all right

Oh, I still miss you
That much is true
I hope you still miss me too

- Solus

Driving with Nirvana

I often don't understand how I find myself in these situations, but I've learned to stop questioning them. There really isn't any over-riding logic towards the events in my life. So, when Kurt said he wanted to drive to Washington to see Krist, I didn't think much of it. Besides, a cross-country drive seemed like a lot of fun. Of course, a cross-country trip wouldn't be complete without picking up Dave in Virginia.

And so, we picked up Dave and drove, for several days. We didn't really talk all the much, really. There was nothing that needed to be said. We all took turns making our way across the country, sleeping when we could. When we reached Washington, Kurt was driving. Dave was sleeping in the back next to me, while I stared out at the passing cars on a rainy, miserable washington afternoon. Dave woke up and sleepily asked, "How close are we?"

Kurt responded, "We still have a couple more hours, probably."

"Where is Krist living nowadays, anyway?"

"He's living in Wahkiakum, but we're not going there. We're gonna meet him at his summer house."

I finally chimed in with a "must be good to be a big rich rock star." Dave just agreed, and the rain kept coming.