The Perfect Space

I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.
I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.
I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
And I wanna grow old without the pain,
give my body back to the earth and not complain.
Will you understand …when I am to hold up a man?
And will you forget when we have paid our debt
who did we borrow from? Who did we borrow from?

Okay part two now clear the house.
The party’s over take the shouting and the people, get out.
I have some business and a promise that I have to hold to.
I do not care what you assume or what the people tell you.
Will you understand, when I am too old of a man?
Will you forget when we have paid our debt,
who did we borrow from, who did borrow from?

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the bible that turns you bad.
And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ll become and not the man that I was.

- Avett Brothers

My back aches. My foot hurts. I'm not as young as I used to be, and I can feel it in my bones. And, for a second today, I was scared of my own mortality. But, I remember that the gods envy mankind for our mortality. And it makes me feel better.

I want to have friends that love me for the man I've become, and not the man I was. Because, I'm very much a different person than 5 years ago. A little slower. A little more thoughtful. But, still willfully unthinking.

Jackson Browne does an excellent version of "A Thousand Kisses Deep".

I've accepted a position in Germany. Tom asked me if I was excited, but I've been too busy to be excited yet. I'm sure the reality will set in soon. But, honestly, I'm already planning the next major step in my life. So much is going to change in the next six months, it's hard to even imagine it.

Hate, Hate your enemies
Save, Save your friends
Find, Find your place
Speak, Speak the truth

Amare, Semper.

I miss her, and I'm surprised by how much.

She blocked everyone out. No password to unlock the secrets.

I don't remember her face. And, it doesn't bother me.

My mistake, we'll never speak again.

I wonder where she is now.

I should probably call her.